no, he came in my armpit
Its about making memories worth repressing
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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