Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize