hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
