my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
