I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
