Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
