are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
