You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Rumble strips road head = magical
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
