well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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