Christians are straight up FREAKS
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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