Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
