apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
