A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
