Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Enjoy the penises
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
