We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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