I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
