I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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