They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
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You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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