just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
