what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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