he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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