She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
