Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident

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(239): View more from Florida

Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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(224): View more from Illinois

So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?

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(281): View more from Texas

So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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(408): View more from California

Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos

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(810): View more from Michigan

Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot

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(248): View more from Michigan

Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

I don't know what to say

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(585): View more from New York

He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.

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