I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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