ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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