You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
