Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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