Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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