Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
