Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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