I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
