after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you never un-have a 4some
try to milk me bitch
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
