that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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