oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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