We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
