i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
