Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
