just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
