Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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