if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
