you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
