I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
