hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
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The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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