i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
