Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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