no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
