he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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