i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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