My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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