You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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