I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
