dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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