so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
