remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
