I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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