Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
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