My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
