Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize