I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
