I didn't shave. On purpose
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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