She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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