omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
