Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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