He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
