if you like me you must not know who I am
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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