she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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