I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
