I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
