She's JV to your varsity
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
