why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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