Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish you could order shots online.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
