Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
